The Quack Doctor

Source: The Pittsburgh Press, 11 March 1923

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Why, when a woman is 30, do her blushes no longer show? How does a skin grow dull and unlovely while the eyes are still clear and sparkling? Science has learned the reason, and – glorious news! – a painless, pleasant way to correct it in 60 minutes!

Count this faded 30-something in! The above quotation is from a full-page advertorial in the Pittsburgh Press, 9 April 1922. The ad was presented as a journalistic report by one William R Durgin, who had supposedly investigated the new miracle product and verified the manufacturer’s claims.

Terradermalax, as it was originally called before the hyphens were added in 1923, was described as a ‘laxative’ for the face – the idea was that it caused the skin to expel all its waste products, clearing the pores of impurities and leaving the complexion as smooth as a child’s. The product name was not just a brand, either – it was presented as the scientific term for the ‘element’ discovered by young English chemist M. J. McGowan.

In a precursor to our modern ‘here comes the science bit’, Durgin revealed that the cause of a dull complexion was occlusia (clogged pores) and he used the following rather vague before-and-after picture to show how Terradermalax transformed the skin.

Oddly, he says ‘this reproduction of a microscopic slide shows the same skin before and after the first application.’ Did the person squeeze their whole face onto a microscope slide, or did someone cut a piece off, examine it, stick it back on for the treatment and then remove it again?

Some ads showed the inventor contemplating his discovery in a dramatic ‘Look, I’m a scientist!’ pose. The writers of the Annual Reports of the Chemical Laboratory of the American Medical Association (1923) compared him to the comedian Harold Lloyd, whose film, Safety Last! came out that year.

The 1922 advertorial stated that McGowan was 31 years old, but had 10 years’ experience as a dermatologist. Annual Reports claimed that he worked ‘in a subordinate capacity in the soap and fertiliser departments of the Chicago stockyards.’

The product’s composition didn’t hold any surprises – the A.M.A.’s analysis showed it to be clay and water, much like other face masks of the time. Where it fell into the realms of quackery was in the claims about miraculous effects and the idea that McGowan had discovered a mysterious new substance. Anyone could buy some kaolin cheaply from a chemist’s shop and make a similar mixture that would have a cleansing effect and give them the chance to sit down and relax for a while – but this wouldn’t have the psychological boost of treating oneself to a potentially miraculous product. As Annual Reports said:

The only thing you will lack is the mental uplift produced by reading the ineffable bosh published by the complexion clay exploiters.

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Source: The Medical Directory for Scotland, 1853 (click to enlarge ad or see transcript below.)

This product was reviewed by The London Lancet, (vol.1 1851) which heartily endorsed it as a way of creating rapid and healthy circulation of the blood on the surface after bathing. “Rubber” here means something to be used for rubbing, rather than india-rubber. I’m not sure why it was electric – perhaps the rubbing action built up static, allowing you to experiment with sticking yourself to the ceiling, or maybe the proprietor was just trying to jump on the bandwagon for up-to-the-minute electric products.

The Rubber was composed of tightly twisted alternate bands of wool and flax, and… oh, I can’t think of any way of making it sound exciting. It was a towel. That’s all.  Sorry.

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HEALTHY SKIN
———————-
The Valuable properties of the
ELECTRIC RUBBER FOR THE SKIN
Are still but little known. It has received the valuable testimony of many of the first Members of the Medical Profession, and also private Gentlemen. The utility of a daily application, particularly after the cold bath, or sponging, both in restoring the heat of the blood and skin, without in any way injuring the skin, will be self-evident upon the making one trial of the Electric Rubber, manufactured solely for
LUDLAM’S
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159 & 160 OXFORD STREET

Grasshopper Ointment was registered in 1874 and the name was trademarked in 1884. It was still listed in Martindale’s Extra Pharmacopoeia in 1989, where the ingredients were given as rosin, yellow beeswax, larch oleoresin, arachis oil, white soft paraffin and copper acetate – but no grasshoppers. The copper would have given it a green tint appropriate to the name.

I have no idea why it was called grasshopper ointment but because it was also recommended for chilblains – and this is purely speculation – there could be a connection with the Provençal tradition of using praying mantises (known as tignos) as a chilblain remedy. You had to cut the mantis in half and rub the resulting juice onto the chilblain, whereupon absolutely nothing happened, according to J Henri Fabre in the The Life of the Grasshopper (1919).

There was also a widespread old practice of applying a live grasshopper or cricket to a wart in the hope that it would eat it off – in which case the ointment was probably a better bet.

OH MY LEG!

AH,   poor   sufferer!      Do  you  know  the  cause?   If  not,  I
will  tell you.   Your  leg  is  poisoned.   All  that   poulticing
and   fomenting   with  water  and  lotion  only  increases your
misery.  The  poison  must  be  extracted.   Send  at once  for
ALBERT’S GRASSHOPPER OINTMENT.   A  certain  cure
for bad legs and every known disease.
78, Farringdon-street, London, and all chemists, 1s. 1½d., 2s.,
2s. 9d.
Sir,—For  nearly  two  years  I  had  suffered  great  pain  from
a white swelling or housemaid’s knee, brought on by constant
kneeling   at   my  work  as  a  carriage cleaner  on  the  North
London Railway.
After  refusing  an  operation,  I  was cured by your Ointment
in five weeks.
………….R. JEFFERY, 63, Bridge-street, Canal-road, Bow.

Source: Reynolds’s Newspaper, Sunday 19 July 1885

The company also made Grasshopper Pills for headaches, insomnia, liver, kidney and digestive complaints. The picture below is kindly provided by Leo Reynolds, who took it at Niagara Apothecary Museum.

The proprietor of this remedy, Thomas Greenough, was better known for his other preparation, the Lozenges of Tolu, which were for coughs and colds. The Samaritan Water, patented in 1779, was not widely advertised, but the lozenges continued to be sold by Greenough’s successor at Ludgate Hill, R. Hayward, during the first half of the 19th century.

Greenough’s other remedies included the Tincture for the Tooth-Ach, Tincture for the Teeth and Scurvy, and the Volatile Salt of Vinegar, which supposedly prevented the plague and smallpox.

(Image: Christ and the Samaritan Woman, Anon, 18th century)

                           By the KING’S PATENT.
           THE UNIVERSAL BALSAMICK, CALLED
                            SAMARITAN WATER.
THIS admirable Water merits, in  the  greatest  degree,
the  attention  of the  public,  being   the   best   remedy
yet discovered for almost every  outward  or  local  com-
plaint, and more particularly for  the  following: viz.
    1. For Strains,  Bruises,  and  Injuries  from  Blows  or
Falls.
    2. For fresh wounds of every kind.
    3.   For  old  Sores  and Ulcers, even of the very worst
Nature.
    4.   For   inflammatory  Tumours,  Boils,  Whitlows, &c.
    5.   For  the  Erysipelas,  or  St.  Anthony’s   Fire,   the
Shingles, Tetters, and all sharp scorbutic Eruptions,  es
pecially for that commonly obstinate complaint, a Scald-
head.
    6.  For  hard  Swellings  in  the  Breasts,  whether  pro
ceeding  from  Blows,  coagulated  Milk,   or   any   other
cause.
    7. For preventing Cancers; or,  if  already  formed,  for
stopping their further progress, and easing the pain.
    8. For White Swellings on the  Joints,  swelled  Glands,
and all disorders of a scrophulous nature.
    9. For Weakness or Soreness of the Eyes, Specks up-
on the Cornea,  Heat  and  Inflammation  of  the  Eye-lids,
&c.
In all the above cases, and in many others, it is the safest
and most certain application that  can  be  made  use  of,
never failing to give relief, performing  Cures  in  half  the
time  commonly  required,  and  even  where every other
means have been tried in vain. And will  be  found,  upon
trial, to be in reality, and Universal  Balsamick  and  Infal-
lible Remedy for almost all external complaints.
Sold by appointment of the  Patentee,  T.  GREENOUGH,
Chemist,  at   NO.   10,   Ludgate-Hill,   London;   and   by
HUSBAND,  ELDER  and  CO.  facing  the  Tron-Church,
Edinburgh. Price 2s. 6d. each Bottle.
N.B. A more particular account  of   the   nature   and   ef-
fects of the Samaritan Water may be had GRATIS at the
above places.

Source: The Edinburgh Advertiser, Tuesday 1 April 1783

Skin “literally on fire”? Then you need Cuticura – or possibly a large bucket of water and a good plastic surgeon.

Cuticura originated in the US in 1865 and had reached the UK by 1880. The famous company is, of course, still going strong with a wide range of top-quality skincare and haircare products, as shown on its website (UK). Cuticura is also the sponsor of Stalybridge Celtic FC.

At the time of this advert, a pot of Cuticura ointment cost 2s. 3d. The BMA estimated that the cost of ingredients was 3 farthings.

Image: Cuticura ad from Good Housekeeping, 1894

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    MOTHERS,   DO    YOU    REALISE   how    your
little    ones    suffer   when   their   tender   skins  are
literally  on   fire  with  itching  and  burning  eczemas
and  other   itching,   scaly,   and   blotchy   skin  and
scalp  diseases?  To  know  that  a  warm  bath  with
CUTICURA   SOAP   and   a   single  application  of
CUTICURA (ointment), the great  skin  cure,  will,  in
the   great  majority  of  cases,  afford  instant   relief,
permit rest  and  sleep,  and  point  to  a  permanent
and economical (because so speedy) cure, and  not
to  use  them,  without  a  moment’s  delay,  is  to fail
in  your  duty.  No  greater  legacy  can be bestowed
upon   a   child  than  a  skin  without  blemish  and  a
body nourished with pure blood.

Source: The Liverpool Courier, Saturday 6th March 1897