Happy Christmas from The Quack Doctor

The Quack Doctor wishes you a happy Christmas and a gleet-free New Year

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FATHER CHRISTMAS AND THE DOCTORS

Old Christmas comes but once a year, Of that there is no question; But when he comes we all feel queer, Hurrah for indigestion!

Dyspepsia follows in his train, The Stomach-ache attends him; And every sort of inward pain A gay enjoyment lends him.

As honest country-people say, In all their sickly hobbles, We're “wrong inside”—alas, the day! “We've got the colly-wobbles.”

Though we are poor, roast goose is rich; So, gladly let us greet it: Plum pudding is a dainty which Upsets us; so we'll eat it.

A Christian people prove they're such Not by their lives amended; But just by eating twice as much As Nature had intended.

Avaunt ye doctors, silly elves! In vain your righteous passion, We mean to over-eat ourselves In good old English fashion.

Black draught and pills of awful blue, By-and-bye from you we'll borrow, To-day we'll be to Christmas true, You'd better call tomorrow.

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Thank you for reading The Quack Doctor over the past year!

    Image: Angier's Emulsion advertisement, 1907, courtesy of Wellcome Images. Poem: Judy, or the London Serio-Comic Journal, 23 December 1885      

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