The Quack Doctor

The proprietor of this remedy, Thomas Greenough, was better known for his other preparation, the Lozenges of Tolu, which were for coughs and colds. The Samaritan Water, patented in 1779, was not widely advertised, but the lozenges continued to be sold by Greenough’s successor at Ludgate Hill, R. Hayward, during the first half of the 19th century.

Greenough’s other remedies included the Tincture for the Tooth-Ach, Tincture for the Teeth and Scurvy, and the Volatile Salt of Vinegar, which supposedly prevented the plague and smallpox.

(Image: Christ and the Samaritan Woman, Anon, 18th century)

                           By the KING’S PATENT.
           THE UNIVERSAL BALSAMICK, CALLED
                            SAMARITAN WATER.
THIS admirable Water merits, in  the  greatest  degree,
the  attention  of the  public,  being   the   best   remedy
yet discovered for almost every  outward  or  local  com-
plaint, and more particularly for  the  following: viz.
    1. For Strains,  Bruises,  and  Injuries  from  Blows  or
Falls.
    2. For fresh wounds of every kind.
    3.   For  old  Sores  and Ulcers, even of the very worst
Nature.
    4.   For   inflammatory  Tumours,  Boils,  Whitlows, &c.
    5.   For  the  Erysipelas,  or  St.  Anthony’s   Fire,   the
Shingles, Tetters, and all sharp scorbutic Eruptions,  es
pecially for that commonly obstinate complaint, a Scald-
head.
    6.  For  hard  Swellings  in  the  Breasts,  whether  pro
ceeding  from  Blows,  coagulated  Milk,   or   any   other
cause.
    7. For preventing Cancers; or,  if  already  formed,  for
stopping their further progress, and easing the pain.
    8. For White Swellings on the  Joints,  swelled  Glands,
and all disorders of a scrophulous nature.
    9. For Weakness or Soreness of the Eyes, Specks up-
on the Cornea,  Heat  and  Inflammation  of  the  Eye-lids,
&c.
In all the above cases, and in many others, it is the safest
and most certain application that  can  be  made  use  of,
never failing to give relief, performing  Cures  in  half  the
time  commonly  required,  and  even  where every other
means have been tried in vain. And will  be  found,  upon
trial, to be in reality, and Universal  Balsamick  and  Infal-
lible Remedy for almost all external complaints.
Sold by appointment of the  Patentee,  T.  GREENOUGH,
Chemist,  at   NO.   10,   Ludgate-Hill,   London;   and   by
HUSBAND,  ELDER  and  CO.  facing  the  Tron-Church,
Edinburgh. Price 2s. 6d. each Bottle.
N.B. A more particular account  of   the   nature   and   ef-
fects of the Samaritan Water may be had GRATIS at the
above places.

Source: The Edinburgh Advertiser, Tuesday 1 April 1783

Here we have an early example of the grocer’s apostrophe.

Basil Burchell was well-known not only for his Worm medicine (which was for getting rid of worms, not for making worms feel better, in case you were wondering) but also for the famous Anodyne Necklace, supposed to soothe teething babies. More about the necklace another time, but here’s the part of his advertisement relating to the vermifuge:

COUGHS, COLDS, and ASTHMA’s.
So prevalent at this Season of the Year.
THE famous PURGING SUGAR,
PLUMBS, for WORMS in CHILDREN and
GROWN PERSONS; or where there are no Worms,
no Medicine extant for a delicate fine purge, to free the
body from foul humours, can exceed, or even stand in
competition with them. The power of this Medicine is
truly astonishing; it purifies the blood, completely
cleanses the stomach, bowels and glands, and effectually
cures the Rheumatism, Agues, Intermitting Fevers,
Coughs, Colds, Asthmas, and a train of disorders too nu-
merous to insert, most of which are the offspring of a
foul stomach or obstructed perspiration.
For sickness, and pain at the stomach, want of appetite,
and shortness of breath, they are eminently serviceable. In
short, they have been found, on repeated trials, the best
and cheapest family medicine in the world.-Three dozen
for 2s. 8d. or a single packet of one dozen, 1s. 1½d. To
merchants, country dealers, and charitable persons, to give
away, 10s. per groce.
They have only the taste of fine sugar, and are as in-
nocent and easy to take as a common sugar-plumb
from the confectioner’s.

Source: The Times, Monday 25th February 1788

Note: Apostrophe in Asthmas, comma after Sugar and spelling groce are as shown.

For a detailed study of Burchell and his publicity, you can consult A Study of Eighteenth-Century Advertising Methods by Francis Doherty, a preview of which is available on Google Book Search HERE.

Nothing very funny about today’s remedy, I’m afraid.

Adverts for abortifacients appeared in many 18th- and 19th-century newspapers, but they had to be discreet, as is the case with this one, which focuses on the pamphlet before mentioning the availability of the pills.

The pamphlet was most likely an advertisement for Mr and Mrs White’s other services - they also offered lying-in accomodation, where women who would otherwise give birth alone could “depend on being treated with honour, attention and secrecy.” Their babies would also be put out to nurse and be “humanely taken care of.” The reassuring tone of the couple’s adverts might have given hope to isolated women faced with unwanted pregnancies, and Mr and Mrs White initially come across as kindly souls who just want to help people.

But then they hit the reader with the price of the pills. At 1l. 2s. per box, these are only for the rich or the desperate, and the Whites’ intentions become more ambiguous.

 Image above: Detail from Côt ou tard la vérité se découvre by J. Arago (1790-1855). Courtesy of the US National Library of Medicine.

              This Day is Published, Price 1s.
By J. WHITE, Surgeon and Man Midwife, and Mrs.
WHITE, Midwife, at No. 2, London House Yard, the
North Side of St. Paul’s Church Yard.
AN Address to the Community on concealed
PREGNANCY, worthy the perusal of Ladies, whose
situation requires a temporary retirement, as therein is set
forth the expence of the months Lying-in.
Where may be had, Mr. White’s Restorative Salo Pills,
(stamped according to Act of Parliament) at 1l. 2s. per
box, which is an effectual remedy to remove all obstruc-
tions or irregularities, and as Ladies are subject to many
complaints, which through delicacy they often conceal to
the prejudice of their healths, Mrs. White may be consulted
with on any ailment or disorder incident to her own sex.
All letters, post paid, attended to, and medicines sent
into the country if required.

Source: The Daily Universal Register (London) Thursday 2nd February 1786

Note: “expence” is as shown.