The Quack Doctor

Sir John Hill (the “Sir” came from a Swedish title) started out as an apothecary and also tried his hand at acting before becoming a prolific writer. He edited the British Magazine from 1746-50 and produced a huge variety of works including plays, advice on marriage and child-rearing (under the pen-name The Hon. Juliana-Susannah Seymour), scientific treatises and botanical books. The best-known of these was the 26-volume The Vegetable System – or, to give its full title, The Vegetable System, or, a Series of Experiments, and Observations tending to explain the Internal Structure, and the Life of Plants; their growth, and Propagation; the Number, Proportion, and Disposition of their Constituent Parts; with the True Course of their Juices; the Formation of the Embryo, the Construction of the Seed, and the Encrease from that State to Perfection.

Hill, who had a genuine medical degree, started producing patent remedies when the expense of publishing his writing began to take its toll, and the ploy worked, earning him a considerable fortune. According to Thomas Graham in Modern Domestic Medicine (1827), the ingredients of the Pectoral Balsam were balsam of tolu (a plant resin), opium, honey and spirit of wine. Quackish or not, it sounds a darn sight better than Lemsip to me.

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The Public are most seriously cautioned against
various Counterfeit Preparations of the Genuine PEC-
TORAL BALSAM of HONEY, invented by the late Sir JOHN
HILL, M.D., and now faithfully preprared from his MS. Re-
cipes, by his Relict and Executrix, the Hon. Lady HILL, at
her house in Curzon-street, Berkley-square, London.—More
than 36 years experience has confirmed the unequalled efficacy
and safety of this elegant Medicine in the immediate relief, and
gradual cure, of Coughs, Colds, Sore Throats, Hoarseness,
Difficulty of Breathing, Catarrhs, Asthma, and Consump-
tions; for it is the greatest preserver of the Lungs, and contains
all the healing, softening and soothing qualities of that salubri-
ous extract of flowers called Honey, and the essential parts of
the richest Balsams; it is restorative as Asses Milk, and never
disagrees with the stomach. A large tea-spoonful in a wine
glass of water, is a dose, converting the water into a most
pleasant balsamic liquor, to be taken morning and evening.
A common cold yields to the benign influence of this Medi-
cine in a few hours; and when resorted to before the lungs
are ulcerated, all danger of consumption is certainly prevented.
Such are the faint outlines of the merits of Sir John Hill’s Bal-
sam of Honey, a preparation of most exalted efficacy, the re-
sult of long researches into nature, by the Linnaeus of Britain;
a man who dedicated his life to Botany, and justly sought the
true means of health in the vegetable kingdom; but as the
severest human laws are unequal to the prevention of extreme
fraud by coining and forgery, so it is not to be admired that the
merits of this Medicine have induced base and avaricious men
to vend counterfeit preparations of it, preparations not merely
devoid of all efficacy, but also highly deleterious, whereby
many persons have lost their lives, and others been reduced to
the brink of the grave in a few days time.—Lady Hill desires
that all persons will take notice, that her Balsam of Honey is
only to be had at the original Patent Medicine Warehouse, No.
150, Oxford-street (opposite New Bond-street); E. Newbery,
corner of St. Paul’s; Tutt, Royal Exchange, London; and
Clarke, No. 269, Borough; in bottles, price 3s. 6d. each.—
The Genuine may be known by the Signature “H. Hill,” in
red ink on the label of each bottle.

Source: The Times, Friday 15 April 1796

This is another of the ads from Defoe’s A Review of the Affairs of France, which I have mentioned previously.

COSMETICON:    A    most     excellent     wash
to Beautifie the  Face,  &c.,  rendring  the  Skin sur-
prisingly white and  clear:  It  takes  away  all  Hard-
ness,  Tan,  Sunburn,  or  other  Discolourings:   All
Morphews,  Scurfs,  Freckles,  Lentils,  &c.,  tho’  of
never so long standing, speedily  heals chop’d Lips,
Pimples, or other breakings-out  in  the  Skin,  after
an admirable manner. Gives such a delicate,  pure,
clear, natural  lustre  to  the  Face  and  Hands,  &c.,
that  nothing  in  Nature  can  possibly  exceeds  it ;
yet leaves no  darnish,  but  is  wholly  free  from  all
pernicious   Ingredients,   as   Mercury  &c,   being
pure, sweet, clean, harmless and transparently clear;
’tis   found,  by  many  Years   Experience,  to  make
the skin so incomparably pure,  fine  and  soft,   and
so free from all Defilements and  Defects   whatsoe-
ver, that   it   leaves   no   room  for  anything  of   the
like kind to come  after   it.   For   Bruises   by   Falls,
&c., Aches and Pains even of   the   Gout   or   Rheu-
matism, it’s a present Sovereign  Remedy.  Sold   at
Mr.  Stevens’s,  a   Tin-Shop   next   the  Three  Nuns
near Salisbury-Court   in   Fleet-street,   and   at   Mr.
Parker’s Bookseller at  the  Keg  and  Star  in  Corn-
hill,  over  against  the  Royal-Exchange,  at   3s.   6d.
a Bottle, with Directions.

Source: A Review of the Affairs of France, Tuesday 3 April 1705

Note: Archaic spellings too numerous to detail but all as in original.

The proprietor of this remedy, Thomas Greenough, was better known for his other preparation, the Lozenges of Tolu, which were for coughs and colds. The Samaritan Water, patented in 1779, was not widely advertised, but the lozenges continued to be sold by Greenough’s successor at Ludgate Hill, R. Hayward, during the first half of the 19th century.

Greenough’s other remedies included the Tincture for the Tooth-Ach, Tincture for the Teeth and Scurvy, and the Volatile Salt of Vinegar, which supposedly prevented the plague and smallpox.

(Image: Christ and the Samaritan Woman, Anon, 18th century)

                           By the KING’S PATENT.
           THE UNIVERSAL BALSAMICK, CALLED
                            SAMARITAN WATER.
THIS admirable Water merits, in  the  greatest  degree,
the  attention  of the  public,  being   the   best   remedy
yet discovered for almost every  outward  or  local  com-
plaint, and more particularly for  the  following: viz.
    1. For Strains,  Bruises,  and  Injuries  from  Blows  or
Falls.
    2. For fresh wounds of every kind.
    3.   For  old  Sores  and Ulcers, even of the very worst
Nature.
    4.   For   inflammatory  Tumours,  Boils,  Whitlows, &c.
    5.   For  the  Erysipelas,  or  St.  Anthony’s   Fire,   the
Shingles, Tetters, and all sharp scorbutic Eruptions,  es
pecially for that commonly obstinate complaint, a Scald-
head.
    6.  For  hard  Swellings  in  the  Breasts,  whether  pro
ceeding  from  Blows,  coagulated  Milk,   or   any   other
cause.
    7. For preventing Cancers; or,  if  already  formed,  for
stopping their further progress, and easing the pain.
    8. For White Swellings on the  Joints,  swelled  Glands,
and all disorders of a scrophulous nature.
    9. For Weakness or Soreness of the Eyes, Specks up-
on the Cornea,  Heat  and  Inflammation  of  the  Eye-lids,
&c.
In all the above cases, and in many others, it is the safest
and most certain application that  can  be  made  use  of,
never failing to give relief, performing  Cures  in  half  the
time  commonly  required,  and  even  where every other
means have been tried in vain. And will  be  found,  upon
trial, to be in reality, and Universal  Balsamick  and  Infal-
lible Remedy for almost all external complaints.
Sold by appointment of the  Patentee,  T.  GREENOUGH,
Chemist,  at   NO.   10,   Ludgate-Hill,   London;   and   by
HUSBAND,  ELDER  and  CO.  facing  the  Tron-Church,
Edinburgh. Price 2s. 6d. each Bottle.
N.B. A more particular account  of   the   nature   and   ef-
fects of the Samaritan Water may be had GRATIS at the
above places.

Source: The Edinburgh Advertiser, Tuesday 1 April 1783

 This is the oldest advert featured on The Quack Doctor so far – it’s from a 1705 edition of Daniel Defoe’s periodical A Review of the Affairs of France. Defoe began the publication in February 1704 as a weekly opinion piece, but by the time of this example he was publishing it every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. If I were a trendy, down-with-the-kids TV historian I’d say “he was an 18th-century blogger!” But I’m not, so I won’t. 

This advert was one of a few that Defoe repeatedly used depending on how much space he had left to fill. Look out for a couple of others at a later date.

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The   Royal   Essence   for   the   Hair  of  the  Head
and   Perriwigs,   being   the   most    delicate   and
charming   Perfume   in   Nature,  and  the  greatest
Preserver  of  Hair  in  the  World,  for  it  keeps that
of Perriwigs  (a  much  longer  time  than  usual)  in
the  Curl,  and  fair  Hair  from  fading  or  changing
colour,  makes  the  Hair  of  the  Head  grow  thick,
strengthens and confirms its Roots  and  effectually
prevents   it   from   falling   off   or   splitting   at  the
ends, makes the Powder continue in all Hair longer
than it possibly will, by  the  use  of  any  other  thing.
By   its   incomparable   Odour    and    Fragancy   it
strengthens the Brain, revives the  Spirits,  quickens
the Memory, and  makes  the  Heart  chearful,  never
raises  the Vapours in Ladies, &c., being wholly  free
from  (and   abundantly   more   delightful   and  plea-
sant  than)  Musk,  Civet,   &c.   ‘Tis   indeed   an  un-
paralled  fine  Scent  for  the  Pocket,  and  perfumes
Handkerchiefs,   &c.,   excellently.   To   be  had  only
at  Mr.  Allcrafts,  a  Toyshop  at  the  Blue-Coat  Boy
at  the  Royal  Exchange  in  Cornhill.  Sealed  up,  at
2s. 6d. a Bottle with Directions.

Source:  A Review of the Affairs of France, with Observations on Transactions at Home, Tuesday 13 March 1705

Notes: Fragancy and un-paralled are as they appear in the original. Chearful was a normal 18thC spelling.

Robert Walker obtained the King’s Royal Letters Patent for his remedy in 1755, and on his death, surgeon Joseph Wessels took it over. The drops were still around, under the name Wessel’s Jesuit Drops as late as the 1870s. In 1843, the Medical Times published a note stating that the Drops were ”a spirituous tincture of balsam of copaiba, guiacum, and oil of sassafras. They are the same as the elixir anti-venereum of Quincey.”

        CAUTION to the PUBLIC.
             By the King’s Patent.
DR. WALKER’S PATENT GENUINE
JESUITS DROPS, for which his Ma-
jesty was pleased to honour him with his roy-
al letters patents for England, Scotland, and
Ireland, and the plantations in America.—
The great success and demand that is daily
made for these never failing, genuine JESU-
ITS DROPS at 2s. 6d. each bottle; and
SPECIFIC PURGING REMEDY, at 2s.
6d. per pot, which are the most certain, cheap,
pleasant, safe, effectual, and immediate cure
ever discovered for gleets and seminal weak-
nesses both sexes are subject to, though ever so
obstinate, of ever so long continuance, and by
whatever means occasioned, and also for the
venereal disease, from its slightest to its most
malignant symptoms. Likewise, for the gra-
vel, stone in the bladder, and all scorbutic ca-
ses of ever so long a standing; several patients
being deemed incurable, have found relief, af-
ter trying all other medicines; likewise, all
nervous disorders, the gout, rheumatism, and
all disorders in the stomach.
The public may be assured that when the
surprizing and quick efficacy of these medicines
is considered, they are the cheapest remedy e-
ver yet offered to sale.— To prevent counter-
feits, each bottle and pot have J. Wessels and
Co. marked on them, in their own handwrit-
ing, and without which they are not genuine.
To be had at FRANCIS MARSHALL’s
hard-ware shop, being the third shop above
Don’s close, opposite to the Luckenbooths;

Source: The Edinburgh Advertiser, Tuesday 11th February 1772.

Notes: “surprizing” is as in original. The advert continues at great length about the other products available from Francis Marshall’s shop, including coffee mills, best hair powder, mathematical instruments and backgammon tables.